英语小文章

1 你等着发工资吧
If you are alone, I'll be your shadow. If you want to cry, I'll be your shoulder. If you want a hug, I'll be your pillow. If you need to be happy, I'll be your smile. If you need money... wait for your salary.

　　如果你感到孤独，我做你的影子。如果你想哭泣，我做你的肩膀。如果你想要拥抱，我做你的枕头。如果你想要快乐，我做你的微笑。如果你想要钱……等着发工资吧！
2 小心我会宰了你
If u hide, I'll seek 4 u. If u r lost, I'll search 4 you. If u'll leave, I'll wait 4 u. If days take u away 4m me, I'll fight 4 u.

　　如果你躲起来，我会去找你。如果你不见了，我会寻觅你。如果你离开了，我会等你。如果日子会把你带走，我会为你战斗。

But, if u stop sending msgs, I'll kill you. 

　　但是，如果你停止发短信息，我会宰了你。
3 上帝曾经答应我
Once god came up 2 me & granted me a wish. I asked 4 world peace. That's impossible, he said.

　　有一次上帝来到我面前答应了我一个愿望。我说我要世界和平。“那是不可能的”他说。

Then I asked him 2 give u brains. He said, "Let me try world peace". 

　　然后我请让你变聪明。他说：“你还是让我试试让世界和平吧。”

阅读全文...

I had a dream, which was not all a dream.
The bright sun was extinguish'd, and the stars
Did wander darkling in the eternal space,
Rayless, and pathless, and the icy earth
Swung blind and blackening in the moonless air;
...

阅读全文...

Monsignore,
Right Reverend Bishop Valentinus,
Sometime of Interamna, which is called Ferni,
Now of the delightful Court of Heaven,
I respectfully salute you,
I genuflect
And I kiss your episcopal ring.

It is not, Monsignore,
The fragrant memory of your holy life,
Nor that of your shining and joyous martyrdom,
Which causes me now to address you.
But since this is your august festival, Monsignore,
It seems appropriate to me to state
According to a venerable and agreeable custom,
That I love a beautiful lady.
Her eyes, Monsignore,
Are so blue that they put lovely little blue reflections
On everything that she looks at,
Such as a wall
Or the moon
Or my heart.
It is like the light coming through blue stained glass,
Yet not quite like it,
For the blueness is not transparent,
Only translucent.
Her soul's light shines through,
But her soul cannot be seen.
It is something elusive, whimsical, tender, wanton, infantile, wise
And noble.
She wears, Monsignore, a blue garment,
Made in the manner of the Japanese.

阅读全文...

 A man walked into a doctor's examining room.
    "Put out your tongue," the doctor said.
    The man put out his tongue and the doctor said.
    "0. K. You can put your tongue back now. " the doctor said. "it's clear what's wrong with you . You need more exercise."
    "But, doctor, " the man said. "I don't think--"
    " Don't tell I me what you think, " the doctor said 揑 am the doctor, not you. I know what you need. I see hundreds of people like you. None of them get any exercise. They sit in offices all day and in front of the television in the evening. What you need is to walk quickly for at least 20 minutes a day. "
    "Doctor, you don't understand," the patient said "I -"
    "I don't want to hear any excuses, " the doctor said. "You must find time for exercise. If you don't, you will get fat and have health problems when you are older. "
    "But I walk every clay," the patient said.
    "Oh, yes, and I know what kind of walking that is. You walk a few feet to the train station from your house

阅读全文...